the one about what i wish i knew 4 months ago

 i've learned a lot in the last four months about how to keep my little angel happy. Here are some of the things i have learned, mostly from other moms around me. Many of these tips have been lifesavers, well maybe didn't save my life, but saved my ears from hearing too many cries, and my body from even more exhaustion!

bathing:
 a) i had no idea how much babies detest there first bathing experiences! I thought i was doing something drastically wrong, but no, they all cry through the first few. Judah now loves bathtime! 
b) putting a warm washcloth over their tummy helps keep their little bodies warm while bathing.
c)don't forget to clean between neckrolls and under armpits!

diapering:
a) cloth diapers are way easier than i thought!
b) disposable diapers are way cheaper than i thought! i pay on average $.07/ diaper (normal price is $.23/diaper) NEVER pay full price for diapers!!!!
c)there are several things to remember especially for changing little boys- don't forget to point the wee-wee down so that he can't pee out the top of the diaper, and for both boys and girls make sure the ruffles around the legs are out so the elastic has a good seal to prevent leakage!
clipping little nails: 
ugh the worst of all chores! i feel like i am going to clip his skin! The best time to do it is obviously while baby is asleep, but more specifically I try to clip Judahs little nails while he is asleep in the carseat. That way he is completely stable and not going to move. Unlike when someone else is holding him the carseat allows 360 degree access so i can figure out the best angle to get at his little fingers.

feeding:
a)invest in a good nursing bra and some nursing tanks- target has some that are extra long that i like
b)if you are larger on top forget about the "sleeping bras" they sell at the maternity store, they don't work for me at all! just wear the nursing tank to bed
c) you could pay $30 on this "modest middles" tank for nursing moms or get the exact same thing at forever 21 for $2.50 (just buy their cheap cami, the straps are long enough that i can pull it down)I LOVE wearing it tho so that my side doesn't show when i lift my shirt.
d) most people already know about nursing covers, but i would stress- buy one with the boning that makes it open up on top so you can see what is going on, and baby can look up at you too. (bebe au lait has some great ones)

naps: 
this is the area in which i know the least, the area in which i am most defeated, and the time when i am most likely to become a monster, but there are some things that help...
a) don't let baby stay up more that an hour and a half- they get overstimulated and over tired!
b) white noise! Judah can hardly fall asleep without it! we've got stuffed animals that make white noise that we keep in his crib and bassinet, his swing makes white noise, we've downloaded white noise from iTunes that we can play in the car, and if we forget the iPod we have a (non)radio station on our presets to play static :)
c)try not go crazy when the baby won't sleep
d) oh yeah- pray!

baby socks: 
i can never get them to stay on! a) like 3 different moms on different occasions have told me to use Okie Dokie socks from JC Penny. i agree they are nice, a little taller so they don't fall off as easily. 
b) i like to put shoes on Judah's little feet. The shoes make him look totally stylish and they stay on better and keep those socks from falling off!

c)use a mesh laundry bag so none of them are lost in the wash

"stuff"
a) craigslists and ebay are the greatest things ever! we bought everything for pennies on the dollar! this is the one time you can get away with buying used and the kid can't complain. When he's 12 he's going to want a nice pair of expensive nikes and she will already be eyeing that coach purse... but the baby doesn't know the difference!
b) a swing is the most essential item, we could live without a crib, changing table, pretty much anything else, but with out the swing we'd be done for!


c) snap and go strollers are awesome! they are so light wieght and easy to use! fit better in the trunk and way easier to get in and out- plus a fraction of the price (mine was $15 on craigslist! but they are $50 new on sale)

the one about being sick and tired

Yes Judah has been sick (he is finally better- Thank the Lord! but it lasted from tuesday to tuesday!) and because he has been sick he's also been tired (the ear infection was exacerbated when he laid down flat, so he couldn't sleep well). But this blog isn't really about him... It's about me being sick and tired. 

The first 3 days of Judah being sick his fever was close to 104. He was hot to the touch and his cheeks were all red. My heart broke for him. I held him and cuddled him. I sang him lullabies to try to calm him. He was pretty much in my arms for 72 hours straight. But come saturday his fever was gone, he was still fussy, and I was exhausted. Nicholas had to work that saturday so I was home alone with Judah again. He was crying, and I was at the end of my rope. There was nothing I could do to help him. I switched for being heartbroken for him to selfishly being angry that he was affecting my life is such a negative way: he was causing me to lose sleep, causing my ears to hurt from the crying, my arms to hurt from holding him continually, and my apartment to look like a hurricane blew through since i hadn't gotten a chance to do laundry, dishes etc for an entire week. I hadn't even showered in 2 days! The little bugger was ruining my life! Rocking, swinging, singing, nothing would work to quiet him! I even went for a 2 mile walk and he still wouldn't fall asleep and give me a break. I wanted to lock him in a room and shut the door.  I realized why people shake their babies! I was frustrated!!!!! and on top of being frustrated with Judah, I was so frustrated with myself! What kind of mom thinks these things? Aren't moms supposed to love their children unconditionally? Am I an unfit mother? 

The good news is we survived that rough patch i managed not to hurt myself or the poor kid, and now he is healthy and mom and baby are both happy.

The bad news is I am depraved! It is times like that i really recognize the depths of my depravity. I am a terrible being. There is nothing about me worthy of God's continued love, grace, and forgiveness in my life. How many times have i done things to frustrate God- i repeatedly sin, i neglect to spend time with him, and am ungrateful for so many of the perfect gifts he has given me. I have whined to him more than my fair share. I complain about things as if God made a mistake and I know better. I thank God that he has not grown sick and tired of me. 

God is so good, so patient, and so kind. He loves me though I can never deserve it. He loves perfectly. He loves unconditionally. 

I pray that He will help me become more like his son. As a mom i want nothing more than to raise my kids to love and fear Christ. I want to be an example of Jesus, not a stumbling block towards their faith. I know i have a lot of work to do; but they say admitting the problem is the first step right? 

Other moms out their, your not alone when you feel like pulling your hair out. I'm right there with you! I will pray for you and hope you will pray for me as well, that we can become more patient, loving, and kind just like Jesus.