it's beginning to look a lot like christmas! go to shutterfly and order your cards! i just did!

Colorful Joy Christmas Card

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Stationery card

Initially Baby Sage Birth Announcement

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the one about what i wish i knew 4 months ago

 i've learned a lot in the last four months about how to keep my little angel happy. Here are some of the things i have learned, mostly from other moms around me. Many of these tips have been lifesavers, well maybe didn't save my life, but saved my ears from hearing too many cries, and my body from even more exhaustion!

bathing:
 a) i had no idea how much babies detest there first bathing experiences! I thought i was doing something drastically wrong, but no, they all cry through the first few. Judah now loves bathtime! 
b) putting a warm washcloth over their tummy helps keep their little bodies warm while bathing.
c)don't forget to clean between neckrolls and under armpits!

diapering:
a) cloth diapers are way easier than i thought!
b) disposable diapers are way cheaper than i thought! i pay on average $.07/ diaper (normal price is $.23/diaper) NEVER pay full price for diapers!!!!
c)there are several things to remember especially for changing little boys- don't forget to point the wee-wee down so that he can't pee out the top of the diaper, and for both boys and girls make sure the ruffles around the legs are out so the elastic has a good seal to prevent leakage!
clipping little nails: 
ugh the worst of all chores! i feel like i am going to clip his skin! The best time to do it is obviously while baby is asleep, but more specifically I try to clip Judahs little nails while he is asleep in the carseat. That way he is completely stable and not going to move. Unlike when someone else is holding him the carseat allows 360 degree access so i can figure out the best angle to get at his little fingers.

feeding:
a)invest in a good nursing bra and some nursing tanks- target has some that are extra long that i like
b)if you are larger on top forget about the "sleeping bras" they sell at the maternity store, they don't work for me at all! just wear the nursing tank to bed
c) you could pay $30 on this "modest middles" tank for nursing moms or get the exact same thing at forever 21 for $2.50 (just buy their cheap cami, the straps are long enough that i can pull it down)I LOVE wearing it tho so that my side doesn't show when i lift my shirt.
d) most people already know about nursing covers, but i would stress- buy one with the boning that makes it open up on top so you can see what is going on, and baby can look up at you too. (bebe au lait has some great ones)

naps: 
this is the area in which i know the least, the area in which i am most defeated, and the time when i am most likely to become a monster, but there are some things that help...
a) don't let baby stay up more that an hour and a half- they get overstimulated and over tired!
b) white noise! Judah can hardly fall asleep without it! we've got stuffed animals that make white noise that we keep in his crib and bassinet, his swing makes white noise, we've downloaded white noise from iTunes that we can play in the car, and if we forget the iPod we have a (non)radio station on our presets to play static :)
c)try not go crazy when the baby won't sleep
d) oh yeah- pray!

baby socks: 
i can never get them to stay on! a) like 3 different moms on different occasions have told me to use Okie Dokie socks from JC Penny. i agree they are nice, a little taller so they don't fall off as easily. 
b) i like to put shoes on Judah's little feet. The shoes make him look totally stylish and they stay on better and keep those socks from falling off!

c)use a mesh laundry bag so none of them are lost in the wash

"stuff"
a) craigslists and ebay are the greatest things ever! we bought everything for pennies on the dollar! this is the one time you can get away with buying used and the kid can't complain. When he's 12 he's going to want a nice pair of expensive nikes and she will already be eyeing that coach purse... but the baby doesn't know the difference!
b) a swing is the most essential item, we could live without a crib, changing table, pretty much anything else, but with out the swing we'd be done for!


c) snap and go strollers are awesome! they are so light wieght and easy to use! fit better in the trunk and way easier to get in and out- plus a fraction of the price (mine was $15 on craigslist! but they are $50 new on sale)

the one about being sick and tired

Yes Judah has been sick (he is finally better- Thank the Lord! but it lasted from tuesday to tuesday!) and because he has been sick he's also been tired (the ear infection was exacerbated when he laid down flat, so he couldn't sleep well). But this blog isn't really about him... It's about me being sick and tired. 

The first 3 days of Judah being sick his fever was close to 104. He was hot to the touch and his cheeks were all red. My heart broke for him. I held him and cuddled him. I sang him lullabies to try to calm him. He was pretty much in my arms for 72 hours straight. But come saturday his fever was gone, he was still fussy, and I was exhausted. Nicholas had to work that saturday so I was home alone with Judah again. He was crying, and I was at the end of my rope. There was nothing I could do to help him. I switched for being heartbroken for him to selfishly being angry that he was affecting my life is such a negative way: he was causing me to lose sleep, causing my ears to hurt from the crying, my arms to hurt from holding him continually, and my apartment to look like a hurricane blew through since i hadn't gotten a chance to do laundry, dishes etc for an entire week. I hadn't even showered in 2 days! The little bugger was ruining my life! Rocking, swinging, singing, nothing would work to quiet him! I even went for a 2 mile walk and he still wouldn't fall asleep and give me a break. I wanted to lock him in a room and shut the door.  I realized why people shake their babies! I was frustrated!!!!! and on top of being frustrated with Judah, I was so frustrated with myself! What kind of mom thinks these things? Aren't moms supposed to love their children unconditionally? Am I an unfit mother? 

The good news is we survived that rough patch i managed not to hurt myself or the poor kid, and now he is healthy and mom and baby are both happy.

The bad news is I am depraved! It is times like that i really recognize the depths of my depravity. I am a terrible being. There is nothing about me worthy of God's continued love, grace, and forgiveness in my life. How many times have i done things to frustrate God- i repeatedly sin, i neglect to spend time with him, and am ungrateful for so many of the perfect gifts he has given me. I have whined to him more than my fair share. I complain about things as if God made a mistake and I know better. I thank God that he has not grown sick and tired of me. 

God is so good, so patient, and so kind. He loves me though I can never deserve it. He loves perfectly. He loves unconditionally. 

I pray that He will help me become more like his son. As a mom i want nothing more than to raise my kids to love and fear Christ. I want to be an example of Jesus, not a stumbling block towards their faith. I know i have a lot of work to do; but they say admitting the problem is the first step right? 

Other moms out their, your not alone when you feel like pulling your hair out. I'm right there with you! I will pray for you and hope you will pray for me as well, that we can become more patient, loving, and kind just like Jesus.

the one about the fever

last night when Nicholas got home from work he came in and kissed Judah on the forehead just like any other night. However, last night when he gave him a kiss he realized Judah was really warm. We took his temperature and it was 101. I instantly felt like the worst mom in the world. I had spent all day with him, complained a bit about how he was being fussy and never once thought that he might be sick. I figured he was teething or finally going through his 3 month growth spurt (he's a little behind on that!). Good thing his daddy loves him!
A temp of 101 isn't cause for instant concern, especially since Judah didn't have any other symptoms. WE gave him some baby tylenol fed him a little extra and went to bed early. At 3am he woke up screaming and he felt really warm, despite the fact he was only in a short sleeve onsie with nothing more than a sheet over him. Sure enough 102.9 :( We gave him some more tylenol and called the 24 hour number for our doctor. She said we didn't need to go to the ER, but should get into the Dr the next morning.
Judah was so warm, his face was red, his cries were so desperate, and my heart was breaking for him. There was nothing I could really do. i rocked him in my arms and told him i loved him even though he couldn't understand what i was saying.
It was a little scary because he is so little. He is almost 16 weeks old, had he been 2 weeks younger they would have sent us to the ER and drawn blood and it would have been a crazy ordeal. I was glad we didn't have to do that, but then again it made me a little nervous to think that he was 12 days difference from needing immediate care. Although it was heartbreaking to see him hurting i knew God was going to take care of him. Nicholas and i both prayed for our little bubba boy and asked God to heal him, and to take away the pain. God didn't choose to heal him instantly but i know he was and is here with us helping us know its going to be ok.
When we went to the Dr this morning his temp was 103.2 so high for a little guy! Judah did well through out the 2 1/2 hours we were there, except he cried when a) they weighed him, b) they stuck the thermometer up his rectum, c) they poked him and examined his whole body, d) they taped a bag to his privates to get a urine sample, e) they ripped the tape of his privates, f) they gave him a shot that went in slowly and stung worse than a tetanus shot. Yes so other than all that it was too bad. After the antibiotic shot we had to stay for an extra half hour to make sure he didn't have a bad reaction to it. Oh and we get to go back tomorrow for him to have a second dose, and depending on how things go possibly return again on Friday!
It's been 24 hours now and he still has a fever. He's been really lethargic today. He didn't even splash around in the bathtub like he usually loves to do. He cried in his jumper. He just wanted to be held all day. So we're still praying for him and waiting for him to be back to his happy happy self. I miss my smiley boy!


the silver lining of our Dr visit: while perusing the magazines in the waiting room I found 2 coupons for amazon baby- one for 20% off and one for $10 off! I already redeemed them for 200 diapers regularly $45 for $7 (including the amazon mom discount!) woo-hoo :)

the one about the birth (long story short)

This is the “long story short” version (this was a 40+ hour process edited down as much as possible). For more details check out my original birth story blog.

Late night October 6^th - I woke up and was definitely having contractions. They were coming strong and pretty steady, and they weren’t pleasant! 

Morning October 7^th- I was recording the time between contractions with an app I downloaded on my phone. They were consistently less than 3 minutes apart, and I was having trouble speaking through them. We went to the hospital at 7:30am. I was dilated to a 2, but after walking laps around the hospital for an hour with no progress they told me to go home L

Evening October 7^th- I think around 6pm. Returned to hospital they sent me straight to a labor and delivery room. Labor went on for hours!!! I was going for a natural/unmedicated birth. It hurt so bad I vomited at least twice.

Late night October 7^th- At midnight they checked me and I was only at a 4 or 5 (the goal is 10cm). At 3am, after 24 hours of contractions, I still hadn’t progressed past a 5. I finally broke and said give me the epidural! The epidural was amazing I went from the worst pain of my life to taking a nap, then watched a movie or two... and waited.

Afternoon October 8^th- At noon I was finally fully dilated, but had no urge to push. That urge never came L so finally a little after 3:00 we decided to go ahead and start pushing. Oh that was so painful! After pushing for a while he was finally crowning- even more pain! Then at 4:28 out came my beautiful little boy!

They put Judah directly on my chest and he was so slippery! I was not expecting that! But he was beautiful! I was definitely crying. I was just so happy to finally meet him. I was so in love with him already. I instantly forgot about the pain. Even though there was a whole lot of stitching and cleaning up going on down below, I was completely oblivious. Judah had the craziest cone head, but a full head of hair, all 10 fingers and toes, etc… He was perfect J

look at that cone head!

the one about the birth

I have had the privilege this week to read the birth stories of several of my friends; and now have been inspired to put mine into words as well. I’m pretty sure it was a day I will never forget, but just in case I’ll record the details here.

It started October 6^th my due date- I had an appointment with Dr. Bray at 10am. My mom had just flown in the night before and was there with me at the appointment. She had to meet me there since I came from work. When checked I had no signs of progress, wasn’t dilated or effaced or anything. The Dr stripped my membranes to see if he could “get things started”. Then mom and I went out to lunch at Scott’s and I went back to work. I had the easiest job known to man so I figured I’d continue to earn money as long as I could! I made sure I emptied everything out of the office when I left that day.

That night I made fajitas and brought them to the Schneider’s to celebrate the birth of Landon Vernon who had just got home from the hospital that day. I was a bit jealous as I held their little guy in my arms and wondered how long it would be before my son was born (who at the time still did not have a name!)

Mom, Nicholas and I stayed up watching a movie that night and I was feeling increasingly funny. I was having some mild contractions, but nothing serious. Went to bed finally right after midnight. Around 3am I woke up and was definitely having contractions. They were coming strong now and pretty steady, and they weren’t pleasant! So I took a nice long warm bath. I sat in the water for over an hour. I got out of the tub and decided to walk lap around the inside of my apartment in hopes that would spur on the contractions. 

October 7^th- It was almost 6am before I woke up Nicholas and my mom. I was recording the time between contractions with an app I downloaded on my phone. They were consistently less than 3 minutes apart, and I was having trouble speaking through them. We went to the hospital at 7:30. I was dilated to a 2, but after walking laps around the hospital for an hour with no progress they told me to go home  But they gave me a shot of morphine so I could rest, relax, and hopefully let my body get to work without any pain.

I went home and slept. Meanwhile Patty, Nicholas’ mom arrived. Nicholas had called her earlier and she literally took the next flight out of LA. Labored at home, napped, watched a movie, drank some Jamba Juice, Nicholas walked around the complex and argued about names (considering we now realized we were out of time and needed to make a final decision!) I don’t remember exactly what time we went back to the hospital, I think around 6pm. All I remember is feeling extremely uncomfortable as we drove over speed bumps and wishing Nicholas would get there faster. When we arrived they sent me straight to a labor and delivery room.

Labor went on for hours!!! I tried to pass the time in the tub, walking around the hospital, “dancing” with Nicholas, trying to relax, using the birthing ball, etc… nothing really took the pain away. It was so bad I vomited at least twice.

At midnight they checked me and I was only at a 4 or 5 (I’m already forgetting details ) I was devastated. I thought for sure with all that pain, and all that time I would have been further than that. I had been laboring almost 24 hours already and was not hooked up to any pain medication. They of course had several options: pitocin to increase contractions, epidural to take away pain, break my water, or just wait…) I opted to just wait, until 3am when I finally broke and said give me the epidural! I was afraid of having my water broken knowing it would increase the pain instantly and exponentially, and could increase the likelihood of a c-section if things failed to progress. 

The epidural was amazing I went from the worst pain of my life to taking a nap  I woke up in the morning feeling rested and relaxed. Since I wasn’t in pain I thought it would be nice to pass the time with a movie… however the tv wasn’t hooked up right. When the maintenance man came to fix it he let me know if the baby started coming he was out of there!  the time still passed slowly and I wasn’t really progressing.

At noon I was finally fully dilated, but had no urge to push. They offered to break my water, but I was still hoping to do things as naturally as possible. I was hoping Judah would come out on his own. I asked them to turn the epidural down so I could feel when it was time to push. 

That urge never came  so finally a little after 3:00 we decided to go ahead and start pushing. Oh that was so painful! After pushing for a while he was finally crowning. With his head what felt like half way out the nurse said “Ok, I’m going to go get the dr now” So I waited with a partial head sticking out the most painful minutes of my life. I thought she would never get there! She had a bum foot so she was literally hobbling slowly over to the bed! A few pushes later and out came my beautiful little boy! (born at 4:28pm) 

They put Judah directly on my chest and he was so slippery! I was not expecting that! But he was beautiful! I was definitely crying. I was just so happy to finally meet him. I was so in love with him already. I instantly forgot about the pain. Even though there was a whole lot of stitching and cleaning up going on down below, I was completely oblivious. Judah had the craziest cone head, but a full head of hair, all 10 fingers and toes, etc… He was perfect